The Weekly Reframe: The Power of Being Willing

Supporting you to free your mind so you can live from your heart!

“There are two extremes to avoid: being completely absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things that you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.”

— Henri J. M. Nouwen

I’m curious, as you look at this quote, where you might be on that spectrum. Are you completely absorbed in your own pain? Or distracted and avoiding? Most of us toggle between the two. I did for years.

What helped me get out of that cycle was finally seeing my wound for what it was, a lie, an erroneous thought I had had so many times that it concretized into a belief: I am not enough. I had been believing this thought for so long that it kept me stuck in perpetual “fix myself” mode, or "running myself ragged" mode or "avoiding through various coping mechanisms" mode.

Coaching supported me to see the lie and slow down. At first, that felt terrifying. I watched my mind thrash about in horror as it repeated, you’re not doing enough! But I couldn’t keep “doing” from the same place I had been: striving, proving, surviving.

At this point, fear can pop up and whisper, Well, if I’m not striving or proving, what if I don’t do anything and turn completely passive? In my years working with clients, I've never seen that happen. Why?  Because human beings are natural creators. While it might look like nothing is happening for a bit as you reorient to a new way of being that comes from your true self, the one that knows it’s enough, something deeper begins to transform you. 

Your goals and dreams start to shift and become more authentic. You stop using your outer world to validate your worth, and that frees you to see what you would most love to create.  You move from have to, need to, and should into I get to and I would love to.  This shift might be one of the most important shifts you ever make because it’s the difference between living from pressure and living from possibility. It's the difference between creating to prove something and creating because you are connecting with your heart and soul to what you would love to contribute to the beautiful tapestry of life. The latter creates a completely different experience of life than the former. 

My mentor, Dr. Maria Nemeth,  describes this shift in two words: Being willing. 

"It signifies that right here and right now you are ready to go ahead with your life without being forced. You are voluntarily participating, no longer being dragged onto your life's path, leaving heel marks in the dirt."

I invite you into some reflection this weekend by picking one question to reflect on and write about that calls out to you:

Reflection prompts:

• Where do you notice yourself toggling between over-fixing and avoiding?

• What’s the belief underneath the pain you keep trying to heal?

• If you stopped striving to be enough, what might naturally want to emerge?

• What would “moving forward by slowing down” look like in your world this week?

• How might you honor the creative impulse that’s already alive in you?

Step By Step.

Jessie