February 2024 Museletter: The Power of Small Acts - How Tiny Choices Create Big Change
Supporting you to free your mind so you can live from your heart!
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
- William James
The Power of Small Acts: How Tiny Choices Create Big Change
The other day, my beloved and I were hiking along the breathtaking Rio Grande Gorge just outside of Taos, New Mexico. Geologically, the RGG is a canyon carved out by erosion over millions of years. Where we walk, there’s an 800-foot drop to the river below. It feels like a smaller Grand Canyon— stunning, vast, and impossible to capture with a phone camera. Pictures don’t do it justice.
It's a sacred place. So I became especially irritated when I saw one of my biggest pet peeves on hikes: piles of dog poop left behind by careless owners. Even worse? Plastic bags full of poop just sitting on the trail.
We passed two very full, sunbaked brown bags on the ground, and I felt my brain start to grumble: Why do people do this? How can they just leave it there? Why don’t they carry it to a garbage can? My mind kept spinning through these thoughts —until about 20 paces down the trail, a different voice chimed in:
You know, you could be the person who picks that up. You could do something about it.
At that moment, I realized my brain was eager to complain, but was shying away from acting. It wanted to ruminate in frustration, to wish someone else would take responsibility—until I recognized that I could be that someone.
This, I saw, was a micro example of learned helplessness: the belief that making an effort is pointless because the problem is too big or ingrained. My mind had convinced me there was nothing I could do about the abandoned poop bags. And also the bystander effect, where people are less likely to do something when others are around assuming someone else will do it.
It brought to mind the social psychology experiments that have been done where a person dresses like a homeless person and pretends to collapse in a public place. This is recorded by hidden cameras that log whether people stop and help. The findings of the experiment are that in many cases people ignore the person and make assumptions that they are drunk or ill and that someone else will do something about it.
In transparency, when I was younger, I was more open to helping people in need. I remember being about 17 when a woman in a grocery store parking lot approached me in desperation, saying she needed supplies for her baby. Without hesitation, I took her shopping for whatever she needed and then drove her back to a rough neighborhood on the west side of chicago where she needed to go. She thanked me profusely.
As I got older, I became more fearful and found myself operating from a place of survival. When I saw a person in need, I often turned away in discomfort. I would still give when I could, but I frequently hoped someone else would help instead.
We can’t help everyone, but I’ve come to realize we often have more to give than our minds want us to believe. As I worked through my fears with coaching, I found myself returning to my younger, more giving self — one who acts with less fear. But I digress — that’s a topic for another article.
So, here’s a question for you: Can you think of any metaphorical “bags of poop” or “people in need” in your own life? The things or individuals you walk past, hoping someone else will handle? Are you willing to ask yourself what’s actually yours to do?
There’s a happy ending to this story. Luckily, our hike was an out-and-back, and on the way back, I decided to be the person who picked up those two heavy, fully loaded bags and carried them a mile and a half to the garbage can. I did what was mine to do.
I Affirm: On this Valentine’s Day, I look for where I can “do the doo-doo” (I’m cracking myself up!). I recognize that if something is bothering me, it’s because there is something I can do about it.
Step by Step,
Jessie
