The Weekly Reframe: Growth seasons feel uncomfortable - here's how to show up anyway
Supporting you to free your mind so you can live from your heart!
“Some periods of growth are so confusing we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile, or angry, or weepy and hysterical. We may feel depressed. It would never occur to us—unless we stumbled upon a book or a person who explained it to us—that we are, in fact, in the process of change, becoming larger spiritually than we were before.”
— Alice Walker
How to Show Up When You Feel Low: A Coach's Guide to Resilience During Hard Seasons
Dear human,
If you're in a season right now that feels harder than it should, as I like to say to my clients: don't should all over yourself. Big sigh.
Why Growth Seasons Feel So Uncomfortable
Seasons of personal growth can be deeply uncomfortable. We can feel low, irritable, anxious, tearful, even a little unhinged. And the more we can make that not wrong, and maybe even lean in just a bit, the more we give ourselves access to true resilience.
The Practice: Compassionate Self-Acknowledgment
Maybe we look in the mirror and say, compassionately:
Wow. I feel really low today.
Today feels hard—and that's okay.
I don't have to feel great to show up.
This way, you're acknowledging how you feel without letting it define your actions. You're letting the feeling be present without handing it the steering wheel.
Working With Your Brain's Negativity Bias
I once told a beloved client that if I lived my life purely by my feelings, I'd be in bed all day eating fried chicken and donuts and scrolling mindlessly. I wasn't kidding.
My brain regularly tells me not to show up for my life and find the "quick fix." Coaching has helped me work with the part of my mind that wants to opt out of life when things feel hard more than any other modality I've tried.
Now, I notice when my mind is attempting to lull me into complacency, and I show up anyway.
Understanding Emotional Polarity and the Negativity Bias
Our human experience is designed around polarity. We get to feel really good sometimes, really bad sometimes, and everything in between. And because of our brain's natural negativity bias, an evolutionary protection mechanism, the hard moments can start to feel like they outweigh the good.
That's when we consciously, gently bring ourselves back to:
What's working
Where our power lies
What we're grateful for
What is most important to us
Skillful Attention vs. Toxic Positivity
This isn't toxic positivity. It's skillful attention.
We have to show our brain how to do this. It's steering the brain away from its default fear loop while staying deeply compassionate with ourselves on the days that feel heavy.
Spiritual growth is rarely glamorous. It often asks us to loosen our grip on long-held beliefs and patterns, ones our fear brain wants to keep with claw marks.
The Truth About Feeling Low
Feeling low doesn't mean something is wrong with you.
We don't have to plaster affirmations over our pain to be "doing it right." However, when we judge the pain or our own humanity, we often add unnecessary suffering on top of what's already hard.
Sometimes growth looks like this: showing up gently, telling the truth, and continuing forward, even while feeling low. It's doing the next right thing, which may just be getting out of bed and actually making it. 😊
Reflection Prompts: Moving Through Hard Seasons
Some questions for your consideration this weekend:
What is one small way I can keep showing up today, even if I don't feel great?
When I notice my fear brain wanting to opt out, what does it actually need from me right now?
How might this low point be part of growth, rather than a sign of failure?
About This Approach to Coaching
I'm Jessie Schoen, a personal development coach specializing in helping spiritual warriors and changemakers move from confusion to clarity. My work focuses on:
Nervous system regulation
Working with the negativity bias and inner critic
Building resilience through self-compassion
Taking action even when the fear brain says "opt out"
If this resonates and you're ready to work with someone who understands that growth isn't always glamorous, I currently have two openings for 1:1 coaching clients. Book your free clarity call here.
Step By Step,
Jessie Schoen
Life Coach & Mindset Mentor
www.jessieschoencoaching.com